Bedtime ... Almost Ashamed

I know I should maybe be ashamed to write this post, but maybe I am more ashamed of not really being ashamed.  A while back, someone wrote about their bedtime drama and I thought, we definitely have that here! Hayden used to be an amazing little sleeper.  He would be down by 9 and sleep through the night until about 6 in the morning.  Then he turned 9 months old, and somehow we went backwards.  He was awake 1-2 times a night needing to be rocked.  So I would take him into the dark living room and rock him.  Then gently place him back in his crib and pray that he didn't wake up.  Now, believe me, I have read my fair share of parenting articles about how to get your child to sleep.  Awake, but drowsy - Follow a routine - Let them cry - Check on them, but don't touch.  We had tried it all.  And STILL, our sweet little boy would NOT sleep.  That is unless he was with us.  I swore I would NOT be that parent that let their kid sleep with them.  My perfect children would be in their own bed by 8 every night and I would have hours of me time before I went to bed.  My child is NOT perfect, he is wonderful in so many ways, but bedtime pushes my buttons.  Hayden sleeps with us.  We even had to size up to a King size bed so that we could all sleep comfortably.  For a long time, I had to lay with him until he fell asleep.  That was fixed and then we went away for 4 days to Las Vegas and BAM-I had to sit again.  I have recently reworked that again and he is going to sleep alone.  Until he got sick and I let him come into the livnig room because I didn't want him to puke in my bed.  Now, he tells me he has a tummy ache so that he can come into the living room.  And I just KNOW, the one night I leave him he will puke all over my bed.

We do the routine, bath, book, cuddle for 3 minutes, Mommy leaves.  Sometimes he cries (like tonight as I type this he is screaming) sometimes he just lays down and sleeps.  Most nights, he asks if he can sleep with some random toy, along with his "minky" (blanket).  Tonight, we have a bath (dry) whale and seal.  Tyson almost always removes them from our bed before he goes to sleep or tucks them under Hayden's pillow. 

I am not ashamed that my son sleeps with us.  I have actually come to like having all my chicks in my nest.  (No, Hunter does NOT sleep with us - but he is still in the bassinet in my room).  I like when there is a storm or a cold night that we are all together.  What I AM ashamed of is that some nights I don't get any down mommy time.  And sometimes I just want sit on the couch and do nothing. 

Sigh ... Turn up the TV a bit and focus on the TV show we have going ... I am demanding Mommy TIME!

2012 Resolution - COUPONING!

Because of everything that has happened in our lives, our pocket books are starting to really stretch and feel the pain.  I knew that having a second child would be costly with diapers and formula and baby food and wipes, but pile a new baby along with hospital bills and a newly necessary car payment and no income for almost three full months and WOW!  I have always used coupons here and there when I remembered I had them and almost always on diapers.  I am SO intrigued by the world of "extreme" couponing.  I SO want to learn how to only spend $10 on $600 worth of groceries, but will settle on maybe taking my weekly Wal-mart/grocery trips down by a fourth or half even!  I still really want to figure out the big picture, but am working up to that :)  So, I used some of my Christmas money to buy a binder and get ink catridges for my printer. I have been scouring the Internet for Coupon sites and information and trying to learn.  I almost feel like I need a shopping tutor.  Someone to go with me and show me how to work it!  I have been trying to get organized and sort through my small stockpile of coupons that I already have.  I did come across some "mommy" coupons that I won't be able to use.  I would love to pass them onto someone that can use them and am willing to mail them.  If you are interested in any either Facebook message me or email me your address.  My email is thebridgemans18@gmail.com. 
- Save $1.00/2 Lansinoh Breastmilk Storage Bags
- Save $2.50 on any package of Huggies Little Snugglers Diapers (Jumbo Pack or Larger)
- Save $0,75 on any package of Huggies Baby Wipes (64 ct. or larger) - 2 coupons
- Save $3.00 on any package of Huggies Pure and Natural Diapers
- Save $2.00 on any ONE package of Huggies Pure and Natural Diapers (Jumbo Pack or larger)
- Save $2.00 on any one paackge of Huggies Little Snuggles Diapers (Jumbo Pack or Larger)
- Save $2.50 on Gerber Good Start Formula
- Save $3.00 on any Gerber Good Start Formula

I am going to try to share my love of collecting with everyone so keep watching for my COUPON UPDATES.  If you have any Pampers or Similac coupons that you won't be using, those are hot items in my house! 

I have been using the sites coupon.com and hip2save.com.  Both are fabulous if you are looking for a place to start.  Please feel free to send me any links that you use that are helpful.  I also have an ebates account and am hoping that if I do place orders online, which I do with my Shutterfly account and other assorted deals.  It's not a ton of money, but it all adds up! 

Tyson made me promise that this wouldn't be a phase and that I would stick with it.  I am going to try to keep track of how much I save.  I am hoping it's a great amount, because we need it!  Any help from you all is fabulous!

Being A Mom Changes You

Being a mom changes you.  I suppose that isn't true for everyone, but being a mom to a 2 year old and a premie has changed me.  Hayden used to go everywhere with us.  If we decied to run to Walmart, he went.  If we decided to go out for dinner, he went.  We very rarely left him anywhere.  But, since we brought Hunter home from the hospital, we have to plan everything because he can't go out.  Very rarely do Tyson and I get to go shopping together.  We made two trips prior to Christmas, but otherwise either he goes, or I do.  (I am thankful he goes grocery shopping, but he doesn't do it like me, you know :)?)  We mostly stay home with a random trip to my parents and our everyday travels to work.  I have been a bad friend and sometimes, a bad sibling for not remembering things or not being able to things.  I was reminded of just how much things have changed tonight when Hayden says to me (as he is hugging me) "Mommy, you are my very best friend."  This of course made me cry, out of the pure sweetness in his voice and then the truth.  Other than the Christmas season, we have mostly been here with each other.  I can honestly say, that my two year old is one of my best friends.  He makes me smile, cry, and curse all in the same day -- but he loves me unconditionally.  Whether I cry, make a bad lunch, or don't take a shower, he still loves me. We play and talk and teach each other things all the time.  All the things a best friend would!  Other best friends include my husband, mom, and sister.  And all of them do a great job of encouraging me when I am down and listening to my fears.  How different my life is.  And even though somedays I feel lonely and wish I had someone to talk to, I don't know that I would change it.  It's good to know that Hayden feels loved enough by me to say I am his best friend and as far as being lonely from being home, Hunter is growing and developing and overall healthy so we are doing what is best for him.  Being a mom does change a person, but I love being a mom and love the things they have taught me!

Two Growing Boys

Last week, I took Hunter to see Dr. Louck, our family doctor.  The ladies in the front are always so confused as to what "well-visit" we are doing.  Hunter will be 5 months old on Saturday, but adjusted age, he is just over 2 months old.  He was 13 lbs 7 oz and 24 1/4 in long.  He is short and chubby :)  Tyson likes to call him "Thunder Chunky", which cracks me up.  Hunter is overall doing very well, growing and growing!  His umbilical hernia is almost gone, which his tummy look normal.  He has been cooing and "talking" and smiling like crazy!  We enjoy him so very much!  He has taken so much interest in what Hayden is doing that I can just see him catching up so fast with having such an amazing big brother to look up to!  Hunter did have his second round of shots and an RSV shot.  Poor baby did NOT like his shots and screamed for almost five minutes.  He was unsettled and cranky for the rest of the night and most of the day Saturday.  I just kept the Tylenol flowing.  We are keeping his medicines the same for his acid reflux as he still has many signs that he has reflux.  I am breaking up with my pump, so we discussed what type of formula would be good for his sensitive tummy.  The doctor suggested I try regular formula before jumping to the more expensive sensitive tummy formula.  He is using Similac Advanced and I don't notice anymore spitting up.  He is truly a joy and I am so glad that things look good!  We do have to watch one thing.  Hunter has been gagging more and more on his food.  Dr. thought it was more an immature system trying to figure it all out still.  It will probably be quite a while before we try to feed him any type of solids.  Although, Hayden was 5 1/2 months old before he got any solids, so that doesn't seem to odd to me. Watching carefully that it doesn't get any worse.  Still keeping him from large crowds, but are planning on caring out in our Christmas activities.  I am very nervous, but it's a magical time of year for all of us.
Hayden is growing as well. His original pediatrition from Lafayette is moving down south, so we are transferring everything to Dr. Louck.  He hasn't had a well visit in many months, but because we dn't notice anything that has us questioning, we are goign to wait until his 3rd birthday to go.  And I can't believe how fast that will be!  He turns 3 in April, a mere four months away!! I was looking at pictures of him the other day and I can't believe how big he looks now!  He doesn't even look like a toddler anymore, he looks like a boy.  We are working on the potty-training more and more each day.  It's a gradual process and I am just thankful he is interested at this point.  We are putting him in Pull-ups during the day and he doesn't seem to mind those like he used too.  I just keep reminding him that he is a big boy and he seems to take pride in that :).  He is very interested in trains and tractors and is loving Disney movies, which I am enjoying as well.  I forgot how much I love Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin.  This morning, we watched the Christmas movie of Beauty and the Beast.  And tonight, we watched Charlie Brown Christmas.  Hayden has his moments, but I think that makes us better parents, learning as we go! 

I am really hoping to make blogging more a part of my routine.  I love writing about my boys and sharing our moments with all of you.  I have had lots of ideas for things to write about: Christmas, Coupons, "Go Ask Your Mom" -- Honestly, I just need a list most of the time in order to remember my thoughts :)

I am Thankful ...

We have had a very trying year.  So many times this year, I have felt like once we stand up, we get knocked back down by something.  This is a part of life, living with the hard times and learning to deal.  I feel like I could go on and on about the negative things in our life, but at some point, you have to put that negativity away and find the positivies.  Eventually, the negative will just weigh a person down where they feel like they can't get back up.  I have had an emotional weekend thinking about how lucky we are despite all that negative.
* We had a tornado hit our house in May.  The main damage was to a couple out buildings and a grain bin that were located on the back of our property.  Everything was a mess and the grain bin actually ended up in the field across the road.  BUT - Our house, by the grace of God, was spared (minus the patio doors being blown open).  Some people lose everything, clothes, pictures, toys, beds - and we are fortunate to have never missed a night in our own home.
* After a long fair week (which is a CRAZY busy time for our office), I was coming home from work and was hit by a semi.  I was 28 weeks pregnant with our sweet little boy, who we had already named Hunter.  It was a very scary ordeal and the very thought of possibly losing our little angel makes me tear up.  I am so thankful to have been transported to a hospital that was able to care for Hunter, who made his grand entrance via emergency c-section and weighing in at 2 lbs. 13 oz.  Fear of every kind washed threw me during those months.  BUT - We met some amazing people from our time with Hunter in the NICU and I can never say enough wonderful things about the nursing staff at St. Elizabeth East.  We hope to stay in touch with them and stop in for visits when we can because without their great care, we might not have the greatest gift of all - our son.  We also have a happy healthy baby boy that is loved tremendously by his big brother.  He is growing and I am sure will soon be trying to keep up with Hayden!  We also were able to get a new car (out of necessity, but much better for our family of four).  I also have a deeper appreciation for my family.  They cared for Hayden and me and prayed for our boy. 
* I work for the Newton County Extension Office and this year, the county has had to reevaluate the budget.  I am thankful that my job was spared for the time being.  In a year or so, I might not be able to say that, but TODAY I am thankful.  Beyond thankful for having insurance and wonderful co-workers!  Some people are not as fortunate to have a steady source of income.  Some people do not have insurance.  We do, for TODAY, and for that I am thankful!!
* Our recent issue is not as serious as the top ones, but we had a problem with our septic tank.  We got it fixed with relative ease.  It could have been much worse, which some people I am sure experienced. 

See, it's easy to have a pity party for yourself and get down on the negative. Thanksgiving is a wonderful to evaluate the many blessings in one's life and I feel beyond blessed this year.  We have a warm home, steady income, two beautiful boys, and we love each other (most of the time :) ).  Everyone should take a minute and try to put a positive spin on something "bad" that has happened.  Right here in our own community, we have people that are worse off, I am sure.  So many people have lost their parents, siblings, spouses, or children.  Some people are battling cancer EVERYDAY and with them, there families are too.  To those people, I have a world of things to say thank you for, and so should you.  And remember, God hears our prayers, so say a prayer for those that need to feel his presence in their lives. 

World Premature Day and Our Sweet Premie

Yesterday, November 17 was World Prematurity Day.  It is meant to raise awareness of the many families that are touched by prematurity.  Even though my situation wasn't such that I went into random premature labor or had a baby with a defect or preexisting condition, we had a baby 3 months early.  Nothing you can ever read and nothing you can ever say can prepare you for the moment when you find out you are bringing a life into the world too early.  I never once thought about the fact that I might deliver my baby early.  Even on the ambulance ride to JCH, I was thinking about the fact that I would probably be off for a couple days and everything would be fine.  But, the realization that I was in labor slowly sank in.  I was scared, so very very scared.  Babies aren't supposed to be born at 28 weeks.  I was so confident in my doctor and the fabulous nurse that I had, but I still wasn't sure what we were getting into.  Would his lungs be okay? Would he have serious issues?  I had a million questions, but thankfully, not a lot of time to really allow any of it to soak in.  Before I knew it, he was here and he was trying to cry!  The sound still was so sweet to me.  My sweet baby was showing me he was a fighter.  We began on such an adventure, taking it hour by hour at first - then day by day ... Until he was growing steadily and was working on eating well.  Hunter had one dose of serfactin shortly after he was born.  And what a fabulous medicine it is.  He was breathing well on his own and only needed a ventilator for a  little tiny bit.  Despite the scariness, and total lack of control over the situation, it turned out so much better than most people's experience.  We can celebrate our premie and his being healthy and growing.  We are so lucky where some are not.  Our lives have not been easy, but we have so much to be thankful for. Each smile, each peaceful look make me understand how special our baby is.  Today, he is 4 months old.  He has been with us for 4 months - and our lives have changed so much. We went from traveling back and forth to Lafayette everyday for 8 weeks to having him home and not really getting out, to now, trying to get into a routine with me back to work and him being watched by someone else.  I continue to be amazed at his developing personality and LOVE watching him grow.  Say a prayer tonight for the many families are that sitting in NICUs all over watching over their babies.  Say a prayer tonight for the families that aren't able to take their babies home.  Even when things seem bad, someone else is worse.  And that is why we say thank you for our angel every day.  What great plans God has.

The Mystery of Family Genetics ...

Perhaps one of the neatest things about being pregnant is wondering what your child will look like.  I can remember looking at my sister when I was pregnant with Hayden and actually saying out loud, "I am so afraid that my baby is going to an ugly baby!" I know NOW that it wouldn't matter what my child looked like, I would think that they were the most precious baby in the world.  I also know that in the fear of the unknown, it was a legitamate concern!  I mean, who hasn't seen the Seinfeld episode "You gotta see the baby!"
Even though I feel like I have two of the MOST adorable children ever - I do wonder how they ended up with random bits and pieces of everyone.  This topic comes about because Tyson and I are sitting here looking at the RED hair that Hunter is growing!  RED!  Where in the world did he come up with RED hair?!  Anyone in either family want to help me out?  I know that my brother (who Hunter looks a lot like) has red in his beard when he grows it. It's so hard to believe that our two children are so much different.  I mean, Hayden is blond, as blond as blond can be.  And even though people say that he looks like me (and in some ways he does), he looks a lot like Tyson's baby pictures.  Hunter looks NOTHING like Hayden, looking more like my brother than anyone. Tyson just took a picture of him on his phone and said, "Oh Joshie Junior."  The boys are total opposites, but again, SO adorable.
One of the joys of being a mother is holding your baby for the first time and seeing who they are and looking at them and seeing those bits and pieces of where they came from.  The tiny noses and squinty eyes all developed from the people we know and love.  And even as they grow older, the wonderment never really stops. You realize they talk like you, or cough like their great grandpa, or have a cowlick exactly like their cousin.  Its amazing.  Hayden is 2 1/2 and just recently he has really started to look like a BIG kid, not a baby, not a toddler, but a kid.  He is tall and skinny and his feet are growing faster than he can wear out a pair of shoes.  And our sweet Hunter started so little that his chubbiness has changed him so much.  I can't wait to see how a couple years changes him.  Then, the mystery of their family genetics can continue.  And we can wonder where they get other unique family traits :)