Being A Mom Changes You

Being a mom changes you.  I suppose that isn't true for everyone, but being a mom to a 2 year old and a premie has changed me.  Hayden used to go everywhere with us.  If we decied to run to Walmart, he went.  If we decided to go out for dinner, he went.  We very rarely left him anywhere.  But, since we brought Hunter home from the hospital, we have to plan everything because he can't go out.  Very rarely do Tyson and I get to go shopping together.  We made two trips prior to Christmas, but otherwise either he goes, or I do.  (I am thankful he goes grocery shopping, but he doesn't do it like me, you know :)?)  We mostly stay home with a random trip to my parents and our everyday travels to work.  I have been a bad friend and sometimes, a bad sibling for not remembering things or not being able to things.  I was reminded of just how much things have changed tonight when Hayden says to me (as he is hugging me) "Mommy, you are my very best friend."  This of course made me cry, out of the pure sweetness in his voice and then the truth.  Other than the Christmas season, we have mostly been here with each other.  I can honestly say, that my two year old is one of my best friends.  He makes me smile, cry, and curse all in the same day -- but he loves me unconditionally.  Whether I cry, make a bad lunch, or don't take a shower, he still loves me. We play and talk and teach each other things all the time.  All the things a best friend would!  Other best friends include my husband, mom, and sister.  And all of them do a great job of encouraging me when I am down and listening to my fears.  How different my life is.  And even though somedays I feel lonely and wish I had someone to talk to, I don't know that I would change it.  It's good to know that Hayden feels loved enough by me to say I am his best friend and as far as being lonely from being home, Hunter is growing and developing and overall healthy so we are doing what is best for him.  Being a mom does change a person, but I love being a mom and love the things they have taught me!